Dating is a minefield. It’s bad enough under normal circumstances, but we aren’t dealing with normal. The opportunities to meet people in the wild, as such, are few and far between in the Covid climate, so it’s time we turn to an adult dating site.
Whether using an app or a website like nostringsdating.net, creating a dating profile can be daunting. What do you write, how do you represent yourself, who are you? But let’s get real, no one is even reading your profile unless they like the look of your pictures. So I’m going to share with you my confidence boosting selfie tips for your dating profile.
Selfie Tip: Drop the filter
I know this sounds counter intuitive, but I promise you it’s not. Firstly, the filter is not fooling anyone, they know you’ve used it, and for a lot of people it’s a big no-no.
Secondly, even if you match with someone, you’ve then got to deal with the anxiety of whether they like you in real life sans filter. Not to mention setting yourself up for failure – you’re literally competing with an imaginary, unattainable beauty standard you created.
Whoever you date, they need to like you for you, smoothing your face, brightening your eyes – whatever the filter changes – you may be setting yourself up for disappointment, and that can hurt.
Selfie Tip: Friends with benefits
Show off your own beauty – and if you need help ask a friend to look over your pictures and help you choose. We as people are way too critical of ourselves. Your friends don’t look at you and see the bits about yourself you dislike. You might be surprised by how different the person they see, is to the one you see. I know I was and it really made me re-think how I see myself.
Selfie Tip: Press pause on the pout and embrace your smile
You know the pouty pose I mean. We all do it, and I’m sure in 10 years’ time we will look back at all our selfies and think WHY???
Smiling or pulling a less posed face, or more natural expression shows off your personality. If you can’t bring yourself to part with the pout completely, use one shot where you show off your natural smile, or if you like to be playful, pull some funny faces.
Selfie Tip: Let’s get technical
OK, that makes it sound a lot more complicated than it actually is! But there are a few really simple things that can help when you’re taking your pictures.
Lighting is really important and can really change a picture, so find your light to banish harsh under eye shadows, and brighten up you’re beautiful face.
Also work those angles – take your time to find what suits you and makes you feel happy. Believe it or not models, celebrities and influencers aren’t picture perfect first time – they take 100s of pictures and practice their poses in the mirror!
Selfie Tip: Fall in love with yourself first
OK, so this one isn’t one of my selfie tips, but it’s a really important part of life – dating or not. Before you start dating, make sure that you are in the right head space and doing it for the right reasons.
It’s easy to rush into something to avoid being on your own, or because it’s what you are used to. For some people that’s fine, but I can honestly tell you, after coming out of a really long relationship, sometimes it’s important for you to take some time to date yourself.
Learning to love yourself and put your needs first is an incredible, ongoing journey. As much as I love a candle-lit bubble bath and a face mask, self love is more than self care. It’s learning to embrace the parts of you that you might not like, be it stretch marks, your nose, or some extra lbs. The most attractive attribute of any person is confidence. Whether that means letting go of or accepting your ‘flaws’ or treating yourself better or changing those things you don’t like are all acts of self love. If we can’t love ourselves, then how can we accept other peoples love?
Got some great selfie tips of your own? Tell me about them below!
Love Lilla xx